An HSP's Survival Guide to the Business World's Vanilla Vortex

The pursuit of a business career holds many promises. After all, if you find the right people to suck up to, you could become the next guy or gal with that brand new BMW, mansion in the "Hollywood Hills," the trophy "arm candy" partner and the gold plated bank account. Mind you, the real reason I found my somewhat naive nineteen year old self suddenly switching her major to business was because it has long been recommended for those who wish to go into the film industry. Yes, it's true. Sometimes you need to combine art and passion with the practical and boring in order to succeed.

The problem with being sucked into this "vanilla vortex" of a world is that if you're highly sensitive, you may find yourself in a long episode of "I'm not sure I fit in here." Chances are, you too may find yourself in this modern man's version of hell, either by curiosity, choice or force. Here's some tips on how I've learned to scrape by on my toenails!:

1. Don't resist the sudden development of the ability to quantify, reason with logic, and categorize. These skills can come in handy, but don't leave the world of emotion, curiosity and intuition behind. Just remember that it may take you a little longer than your completely emotionless counterparts to grasp these new concepts. This doesn't mean you're clueless and can't do it. You can, because HSP's are well known for being able to eventually outpace those hares.

2. If you come across someone (and you will) who thinks you are "too sensitive" to play in the corporate world, act like you are listening to their feedback, but immediately move it to the trash bin. Your sensitivity is an invaluable asset when it comes to dealing with customers, co-workers and coming up with creative solutions to your organization's problems. And yes, every organization has them; even the arrogant ones.

3. You will find yourself overwhelmed by the fast paced nature of this world. You will frequently find yourself overstimulated, unable to think on your feet and just plain frazzled. Allow yourself to say "I'll get back to you on that", take many 5-10 minute breaks, and many, many deep breaths. It will take some practice, but don't let those "thick-skinned" counterparts make you feel guilty for doing so.

4. Develop the ability to "shield out" all the energy of those around you. Yes, you will still absorb it, feel it and want to scream. Remind yourself that these emotions are not yours, they are not directed at you and imagine them flowing through and then out of your physicality. Some days will be better than others. If you find yourself getting irritated, take a break.

5. Speaking of breaks, sometimes those will have to be "mental" only. Develop the picture of a soothing escape that your mind can drift to for a few minutes. My personal favorite is sitting under palm trees listening to the sound of the ocean's tide crash against the beach. Due to time constraints, the tropical cocktails and cabana boys are not included.

6. Realize and accept that you will have a general feeling of boredom and unfulfillment while staring in this "show." One way to make up for this is to use your empathy to get to know your customers very well. If you're a writer, you'll often find your next character, storyline or plot enhancement somewhere in there. Just don't tell them what you're doing. They'll read about it later.

7. You can also use your empathy to be an advocate for your customer. They'll love that you're their new bartender and seem to want to roll out the red carpet for their needs. If you're in the sales sector, this will eventually lead to being able to sneak (I mean "sell") in just about anything.

8. When you have to play politics (something us HSP's find revolting), pretend you're someone else. Yes, that's right, make up an alternate identity for yourself. Pretend you're a "character." Your real self can observe, learn and then pretend like they weren't that total suck up.

9. Small talk. It's the way things get done here. In fact, it's the only way the players in this show know how to communicate. So, yes, you're gonna have to learn to fake it with a smile. Playing a "character" works in this arena too. You'll soon find yourself schmoozing with the best of them. When your mind draws a blank and you can't think of anything to say, pretend you're really interested in what they had to say, smile, nod and laugh a little. Others probably won't notice, since they're usually absorbed in thoughts of how to massage the numbers to make themselves look good.

10. You'll find yourself more concerned with improving things in a qualitative rather than quantitative sense. Expect to be treated as though you are from another planet for possessing this ideology. Smile and realize that it's the qualitative improvements and focus that eventually lead to the quantitative results. Don't expect to convince anybody of that though. Act like you are focused on the numbers and the numbers only.

11. Know that this world is not as complex as it's made out to be. In fact, it really is quite simple. Don't take it or yourself too seriously. Develop a sense of humor. After all, it's just "vanilla." It's up to you to add the chocolate syrup and sprinkles.

*A piece I wrote on surviving life as a highly sensitive person provides additional tips on how someone with high sensitivity can learn to cope with life's general demands, that can often be found to be overwhelming.